The Opinionated Bastard

So the first time I ever met this guy, he didn’t bother to introduce himself, he just broke into a tirade because I was walking my dogs and they ran over and peed on his tires.

During Monsoon season in Flagstaff, where every day at 2PM it rains for 10 minutes.

But I tried to humor him by keeping the dogs out of his yard. Never mind that coyotes used to go through his yard all the time (and still do), but whatever.

The next time I met him, I was walking the dogs again, and I went to throw something away in his dumpster. (He was still building his house.) My wife went up to introduce herself, and the dogs ended up following her. He lost it again. Seems he’s allergic to dogs, which he didn’t tell me the first time. He was also upset because I threw something in his dumpster. Then he ended up calling Animal Control on us, which we thought was kind of dickless.

Anyways, we tried to keep the dogs away from him and his yard, which was pretty easy, because we’ve spent a lot of time training our dogs so they just do what we tell them to do.

A week later, his next door neighbor-to-be came over to ask him if he would watch his construction site a bit better as trash kept blowing into her yard. He told her “Why don’t you just pick it up, you fat lazy bitch!” (She had a baby about 2 months prior…) The vendor he was talking to at the time was so offended that he refused to do business with the guy.

About 2 weeks later, he was surprised when they weren’t willing to let him run an extension cord over to their place for electricity when he was having some problem…

So eventually, he moved in.

The first thing he did was setup a corral for his mule. Except he set it 6 feet over the property line onto their property. The husband went over there and asked him to move it by Friday.

Friday came, and he hadn’t moved it, so the wife called him up and reminded him.

He came over to her house and screamed at her for 20 minutes. She happened to have both a handheld tape recorder and a tire iron…

So now they’re suing him.

After he got the lawsuit, he came over and screamed at her for another 20 minutes.

Meanwhile, some other dog in the neighborhood has been coming over and peeing in his jacuzzi. He’s convinced it must be my dog. I know its not my dogs, because I have a fenced yard so I really doubt one of them is flying over there, peeing in his jacuzzi, and flying back. Plus they’re brothers and practically inseperable, so the fact that its just one dog also indicates its not them. But there are about 5 dogs that look like my dogs in the neighborhood, and at least one that’s a spitting image. He’s videotaped it and everything according to the animal control guy who keeps coming over and leaving these annoying messages on my door because if my neighbor sees my dogs outside without a leash (like I’m getting the mail), he ends up calling animal control.

Now I haven’t told him he’s barking up the wrong tree (so to speak), because for one thing, I still don’t even know his name (me and the wife just call him Asshole). For another, I can’t stand the guy.

Anyone else have any similar experiences?